My Miserable Fail or Was It?

My Miserable Fail or Was It?

Last month I was challenged to give something for 30 days straight and to write about the experience. As with any challenge I jumped in 100% and was excited to share my experience of giving with the world. Well, it’s 22 days into the challenge and I feel the challenge has completely went in a direction that I never expected it to. For the first 10 days of giving, it felt good but then all of the sudden overnight, the whole challenge did a 180 on me and has progressively each day made me very much like a big failure. See, it’s not that I failed at giving, but emotionally the process has been very heavy and felt very wrong. So for the last 2 weeks, I have done some powerful self-work and discovery. For me, self-work and discovery isn’t anything new, but it’s the first time in along time the work has become very painful for me and has brought to the surface many different emotions.

So as I peel back the layers of these emotions trying to find the root of the feelings, the one feeling that has completely consumed me like a black cloud is guilt. Over the years, I have been a very generous giver because I feel it is very important to give back, especially to those who do need it. But this goes way deeper! As most now, I am very private and choose to keep to myself and not talk about the things I have done or given in the past. Honestly, I have done so pretty heavy things, never for the public to know about and I’m sure there are quite a few individuals who would be happy to confirm this but wouldn’t because of my request for them to never speak about it. No matter how small or big the gift, it has always been the same to me. My gift of giving was just because I was called to do it. If it didn’t feel natural, then it was my confirmation not to do it. So I guess my guilt comes from this very un-natural feeling that has consumed me during this process. I have always given naturally and throughout this experience it has felt completely forced for me. Just because it has felt forced to me doesn’t make it wrong to give, but for me, it does.

Also, the feeling of being a very selfish man has also completely consumed me. Selfish because I have been afforded this amazing life and here I am having all these crazy emotions. I feel selfish and guilty for having emotions like these in general, and this goes deep. I mean real deep! Everything I have worked to achieve in my life has come at a price and that price if added up, I’m sure would be staggering. I have a tendency to put up this front and always come across as this strong individual, but the reality is, I feel very sad and embarrassed at times. I’m sad that I don’t do more for certain individuals in my life and I’m sad I have hurt so many people throughout my path in life. As I continued with this giving experience it really brought these sad feelings to the surface. Then I feel embarrassed because I haven’t done more for these certain individuals, and have hurt many individuals along my path. This all comes full circle making me feel very selfish. I don’t like it!

Two other feelings that have been weighing on me very heavy are loneliness and resentment. I put these two together for a reason, so I’ll explain the best I can. You know, in the act of giving, it needs to be selfless. 100% selfless! Anyone who knows me, knows I am very selfless and do things without ever expecting anything in return. Just accepting my gift if thanks enough for me. BUT, when people don’t accept a gift I give them, I find myself becoming resentful which in turn makes me really question myself. In that questioning of myself (and there are so many crazy questions that go through my mind), it gets very personal and dark at times, which puts me in a very lonely place. I don’t like that dark and lonely place, but once I’m there, it’s brutal. I shutdown completely, I shut out everyone in my life and that is exactly what I have done for the last two weeks. The best way I can explain it is that I’m in a blender being spun around and every once in a while I get enough strength to pop my head up to get air and then I get pulled right back down to the bottom of that blender. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s dark and something I have to improve in my life. As I reflect at this moment, it had been a long time since emotions like these have reared their heads and I believe they did for  a reason and at the right time. At least at this point in my life, I am aware and that is a lot more than I can say about myself 18 months ago.

To finish, have you ever had one of those days where nothing sounds good such as food, any activity, TV, music, company, etc?  Seriously, this has been my last 2 weeks and my mind has been in this thick cloud of uncertainty and overall confusion in my life. As for my daily giving journal, no one will ever see it and has been deleted. Those gifts, along with all past and future gifts will go to the afterlife with me. That is my gift to myself, the gift of staying true to myself and continuing to do so.

So, maybe a lot of you will look at my experience as one big failure and that is fine, BUT, I am happy for the opportunity in the end, because if not presented to me, I would not have been forced to do this self-work that I have been enduring and will continue to endure. As I always say, the universe unfolds as it should and this opportunity was obviously brought to me for a higher reason than to just give. So, to my friend who afforded me this opportunity, I am thankful and so very grateful! Thank you and my deepest apologies if I failed you.

Bryce Purvis

Just Celebrated My 1 Year Vegan Anniversary

I Just Celebrated My 1 Year Vegan Anniversary

by Bryce Purvis

So on March 1st 2013, I decided to become a Vegan. As I reflect and look back, every reason I made the big decision to become a Vegan has very little to do with why I am still a Vegan today. Back last February, I was having a discussion with my yoga instructor here on Oahu and he was discussing how much his flexibility improved once he made the decision to become a Vegan. The discussion piqued my interest so I decided to start researching vegan nutrition and wow, was I surprised at how ignorant I was on the subject. Now, I have been in the fitness and nutrition field since 1993 so I should have really been more educated on the subject. To say the least, I knew absolutely nothing! So, like any good student, I spent the next 3 weeks researching and reading everything I could find on vegan nutrition.

My mission become borderline obsessive for those 3 weeks I was doing my research. See, the problem was, my vegan nutrition plan needed to be built around my lifestyle and needed to be more for an athlete. Everything I was finding wasn’t conducive to my lifestyle. As a man, I didn’t want to have a lot of soy in my nutrition plan. If you don’t know, and I’m sure some will argue this, but soy has a tendency to raise estrogen levels in men. So, I wanted very little soy in my program for the obvious reason and everything I was reading, had a lot of soy products included in the nutrition plans. By the end of the 3 weeks, I felt pretty confident that the Athletic Vegan Nutrition Plan I had finally built for myself would be best suited for my needs and included very little soy.

The transition over to becoming a Vegan was very easy for me. For one, I always look at food as fuel and not as food. I want to put the absolute best fuels in my body so it runs efficiently. To be honest, the first couple weeks were tough and not because I was craving meat or the other things in which were cut out from my prior nutrition plans, it was just the fact that body was making the adjustment to not having some of the things it was use to having for the prior 39 years. My energy levels were way down and I wanted to sleep a lot to say the least, but after that 2 weeks, I did a complete 180 and it all started to come together. After 6 weeks, I had a drastic weight loss of 14 pounds which concerned me so I made an appointment with my Doctor to get blood work done. I have to proudly say, he was amazed when the blood work came back perfect and my cholesterol had dropped considerably and to healthy levels without prescription meds I have to add. Man, I was completely stoked that my decision to switch to a Vegan lifestyle would impact my health so quickly.

Let’s take a step back to the original reason why I decided to become a Vegan. Now, one of the things I had learned while researching vegan nutrition was that every food had what is called an “IF Factor”. IF for inflammation and what I quickly realized is that a lot of the foods I had been eating prior to being a Vegan were very inflammatory. So another part of my research and planning was to make sure that my plan was very anti-inflammatory and that was exactly what I did. Within weeks, I was blown away on how much my flexibility had improved and especially how much my yoga practice had really improved. Now that it has been a year since the change, my flexibility has improved 100 fold. There are times when I am completely shocked at how my yoga practice has evolved in the last year.

So now that it has been over a year since I made the decision to become a Vegan, what has really changed about me? SO MUCH! Besides the improved flexibility, I am a so much calmer. I’m sure my pranayama and yoga practice helps with that as well. As I became more calm, my overall vibrations have really evolved as well, especially toward the music I listen to. As a life long metal head, it’s hard for me to be calm when I’m blaring metal or hard rock all the time. Now don’t get me wrong, I still listen to my favorite metal and hard rock bands but I have to limit it. Plus, I’m not sure the punk deep inside me will ever leave, nor do I want it to. But, I do keep him tucked away and only let him out on certain occasions. LOL! As my vibrations continue to evolve, I have discovered some amazing new bands and artist and a lot of older bands that I had overlooked over the years.

What else? I am definitely way more compassionate and loving. Toward animals, toward people  and toward the environment. I am very careful what I put out in space, especially with my words. Anyone who knows me, knows I had a terrible mouth on me. Every other word used to be a cuss word, so I have really worked hard on eliminating cuss words from my daily vocabulary. I guess that leads into me having a heightened sense of awareness now. Things that I would usually overlook before I become a Vegan now seem to really affect me in either a positive or negative way, but at least now, I am very aware of what is going on around me. Now, I really put in the work to try and figure why those things affect the way they do and believe by doing the work I have done emotionally and spiritually, I have become a much better person in all aspects of my life.

Honestly, I probably could go on and on, but as I close here, becoming a Vegan has been the best thing I might have ever done for myself and has become much more than just becoming more flexible. I feel a million times better physically, emotionally and spiritually. Being a Vegan isn’t for everyone, nor do I push the lifestyle on anyone. It is a difficult choice to make, but in the end, it was the right choice for me.

Much Aloha,

Bryce Purvis

Confessions of a Food Addict

Confessions of a Food Addict

by Bryce Purvis

Yes, I am a food addict and that was very hard for me to put out in space. After much thought and consideration, I thought by sharing a little of my story, many of you could relate to it and hopefully allow my words which sometimes are very hurtful, to me and probably to you, help you get a grip on your food addiction as well.

First off, many times I have used the term “Food Addict” only to be laughed at. Not only do I believe food addiction is a major problem for many individuals here in the United States, but I firmly believe it to be as bad, if not worse than any other addiction whether it is to nicotine, alcohol, prescription meds or any illegal drug on the streets. Food addiction is the leading contributor for many health related issues and diseases but of course this is argued often, but seriously, do I really need to make a list of all the medical conditions that follow food abuse and obesity. Yeah, I didn’t think so!

One of the things people say me that drives me crazy and seriously makes me want to slap the living stupid out of them is when they tell me that I look great and that a little of this or that won’t hurt me. OMG…that makes me insanely crazy! Seriously, and if you are a food addict like me, that is like passing the needle to the recovering heroin addict or passing the bottle of whisky to the recovering alcoholic and telling them a little won’t hurt, go ahead and have some with that BIG, enabling smile on their face. IT’S NO DIFFERENT! Once I get that taste, I am done and WILL fall off the wagon harder than a punch from Mike Tyson. Then follows the guilt of knowing the damage in which I know is happening to my body, BUT, knowing it and stopping my food binge are two different things. A 2 or 3 day binge is nothing for me and trust me, that is nothing compared to what I have done in the past. That is a bigger story for the book.

There may be a few of you still laughing at what I have said already, but for me, it is daily battle that I fight every single day and I find NO humor in it. Yesterday, I lost the battle BIG TIME! After 9 Kind Bars and a 14oz bag of gluten-free (yeah, like gluten-free makes it any better) Spicy Blue Chips, all within a 2 hour period, I was miserable and terribly upset with myself. Oh yeah, the box of 12 Kind Bars were finished off already this morning after I destroyed myself working out trying to not only burn off all those calories from yesterday, but worse, trying to burn off the guilt I had from eating all those calories yesterday. This leads me into what a lot of you are probably thinking. Well Bryce, why do you bring it in your home? Because I’m an addict FUCKERS! For the most part, I control it very well and once that control feels like I might have a hold on my addiction, I go and buy my trigger foods from the store, thinking I will be able to control my urges and just have a little here and there. Yeah okay, just the thought of those foods being in my home will literally drive me freaking crazy.  I will be 100% consumed with the thought of those foods being in my home until finally, I make myself eat them all so they are no longer in my home. Even worse, once I finish off whatever it is I’ve devoured, there will be no sign of the packaging around. I go to all lengths to hide the evidence in case someone comes over. NO WAY, would I want someone seeing some of the things that have been devoured when I go on one of my food benders.

Are you still laughing? Oh it gets better, trust me! My food addiction has made me end relationships and also been a factor in creating much friction in previous relationships and, it is a major factor in me NOT being in a healthy relationship moving forward. I have to be in control of my food and food preparation. Being in control of my food prep has been a very big issue in the past in relationships and I have let go a few times, but it always fails miserably in the end. Bottom line, I can not have enablers in my life because it a recipe for failure. Like any addict, if you are surrounded by individuals who enable you, YOU WILL FAIL EVERYTIME! It is our job as individuals to realize this and move forward, away from the enablers in our lives. As much as it may hurt them or even you, if they can’t get on the same page as you, it’s time to say goodbye. If you don’t, I compare it to the definition of insanity which is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. FAIL, FAIL, FAIL!

Now that I have said all of this, YES, I am a food addict and fight the good fight every day and sometimes I get knocked the F out, but, I get right back up and keep on fighting. I love myself too much to let myself fail at anything in life and moving forward, I will continue to fight hard and battle this addiction. This was emotionally draining for me but very freeing at the same time. Thank you all for listening.

Here are a couple of pics that will hopefully help inspire some of you to join in on this fight and admit your addiction. Please feel free to add some of your confessions and maybe I will add them to my book, hopefully to be released this year.

Jan 2011 - 205 lbs - 24% BF

Jan 2011 – 205 lbs – 24% BF













3/25/14 - 160 lbs

3/25/14 – 160 lbs











Take and care and love yourselves,

Bryce Purvis

Oh How I Miss Thee

Oh How I Miss Thee….

RATT Out of the Cellar

RATT Out of the Cellar

Growing up, most of my friends were torn between RATT and Motley Crue. I loved both bands, but I was a true 100% Ratt n’ Roller. RATT- Out of the Cellar was the 2nd cassette (yes, I said cassette) I ever purchased with my own money and I knew right from the intro of “Wanted Man” that this was my band. I had heard “Round and Round” numerous times on a local station in Cincinnati, due to one of the DJ’s locking the door to the studio and playing it 25 times in a row one evening. Luckily he didn’t lose his job but I think after doing it numerous times after, he ended up getting fired. The station was Q102 and the DJ was Mark Sebastian for anyone who might or might not remember.

The RATT Sound:

There was just something different about the “RATT Sound” that was unlike what Motley Crue or any other band was doing at the time IMO. Every song had a hook that would knock you out and a chorus so catchy, you just couldn’t get out of your head. Being a guitar player myself, hearing the twin guitar attack of Warren DeMartini and Robin “King” Crosby was just short of intoxicating! Literally, the guitars alone blew my mind. Juan Croucier was delivering pounding bass and incredible backing vocals that were sorely missed once he left RATT in the 90’s. Bobby Blotzer was IMO …WAY underrated for his drumming. His powerful beat was as much of the driving force of the RATT sound as the guitars were. Then you had Stephen Pearcy, who’s vocals sounded so unique compared to almost all other front men during the 80’s. When all other vocalist were trying to blow your ear drums with trying to hit the highest note they could, Stephen just sang his ass off with so much swagger that you didn’t even care about his range. When you paired his grainy vocals with Juan’s smooth voice and the rest of the bands backing vocals, it all just worked! The one word that even as a kid would come to mind when I thought of RATT was SWAGGER. To fully understand, watch the video for “Dance”….

Final Thoughts:

That song and video was everything the 80’s  stood for. Big hair, big breasts, leather, spandex, tight jeans, SWAGGER and most of all, people just having fun! People may think, oh it’s just a video, they were all acting…. HELL NO, if you lived it, you know this is how it was. I miss the fun, the hooks and hearing music that brought so many people together and still does today. I listen to lot of genres of music, but I still listen to bands like RATT more than any other. I know music and the memories music creates never die and that is beautiful thing about music, but like my title says…Oh how I miss Thee…..





R.I.P. Robin “King” Crosby

3 New Champions Crowned on Epic Day at Banzai Pipeline

3 New Champions Crowned on Epic Day at Banzai Pipeline

What an amazing day at Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii! With perfect conditions and 10-15 plus swells all day, the set-up couldn’t be more perfect for the final 12 contestants at the Billabong Pipe Masters and everyone in attendance watching (over 10k reported).

The Pipe Masters Final Day Results

Heat 1

CJ Hobgood (USA) vs Mick Fanning (AUS) – Mick wins on a last minute 9.5 ride to move on to face Yadin Nicol (AUS) in Quarter 1

Heat 2

Nat Young (USA vs Julian Wilson (AUS) – Julian wins easily and moves on to face John John Florence (HAW) in Quarter 2

Heat 3

Sebastian Zeitz (HAW) vs Kai Otton (AUS)  – Sebastian wins easily to move on to face Kelly Slater (USA)  in Quarter 3

Heat 4

Jeremy Flores (FRA) vs Miguel Pupo (BRA) – Miguel wins in a tough battle against Jeremy and moves on to face Joel Parkinson (AUS) in Quarter 4

Quarter Heat 1

Mick Fanning (AUS) barely wins by scoring a 9.7 ride in the final 90 seconds to defeat Yadin Nicol (AUS) in one of the most dramatic moments of the day. This win for Mick crowned him the 2013 ASP WORLD TOUR CHAMPION and for the 3rd time in his career was an amazing moment for all to see.

Mick Fanning wins World Championship

Mick Fanning wins World Championship

Quarter Heat 2

John John Florence (HAW) made it look easy in his win against Julian Wilson (AUS)

Quarter Heat 3

Kelly Slater (USA) proved why he is considered one of the greatest surfers of all time in his win against Sebastian Zeitz (HAW)

Quarter Heat 4

Joel Parkinson (AUS) looked impressive in his win against Miguel Pupo (BRA)

Semi-Final Heat 1

John John Florence (HAW) looked even better in this heat than his prior heat to easily defeat newly crowned World Champion Mick Fanning (AUS). With this win, John John was crowned the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing Champion for the 2nd time.

John John Florence at Pipeline

John John Florence at Pipeline

Semi-Final Heat 2

Kelly Slater (USA) easily defeats Joel Parkinson (AUS) and scored the 1st perfect 10 on this epic day at Pipeline during this heat.


John John Florence (HAW) vs Kelly Slater (USA) – WOW! You couldn’t have asked for a more dramatic end to a championship. With less than a minute left in the heat, John John (15.90) nailed a 7.40 out the Backdoor but needed a 7.88 to defeat Kelly. For the 7th time in his career, Kelly (16.37) wins the Billabong Pipe Masters. Congratulations Kelly!

Kelly Slater -Billabong Pipe Masters 2013 Champion

Kelly Slater -Billabong Pipe Masters 2013 Champion

Today might be one of the greatest days of surfing ever for the finals of the Pipe Masters. You had it all today. Great surf, great surfers and 3 new champions crowned.

Aps World Champion – Mick Fanning (3 time)

Vans Triple Crown of Surfing Champion – John John Florence (2 time)

Billabong Pipe Masters Champion – Kelly Slater (7 time)

Aloha, Bryce

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